Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
