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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I bet he comes in French.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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