He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My vagina just recognized that song.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize