I have demons in me.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
