I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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