thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize