Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My ass is underappreciated
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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