I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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