Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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