More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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