I heard we made out
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize