I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
