i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize