woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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