I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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