he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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