we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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