Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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