If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
