Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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