if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
