it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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