I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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