I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
