you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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