I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
