I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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