yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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