Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
