God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
