If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
