a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
