I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
