so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
