like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sorry about my life...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
