why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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