I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
