I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize