Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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