3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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