Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
