Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
sex in a hospital.. check
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
