He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
