well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
