and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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