I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
