Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize