Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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