Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
