So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize