I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
