im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
