Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize