I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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