Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
they're like a gay fantastic four
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
