I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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