she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
