wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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