i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
