Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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