Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize