he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
