OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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