At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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