Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
