we're blogging at a bar
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
