Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
