whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize