ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
