Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize