i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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