the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
